You Make Me Wanna Die.

Everything looks better when the sun goes down.

I am completely obsessed with this song at the moment. The video isn't anything too special, just your standard music video really, but I don't think it needs to be. It's hard to believe that a voice like that comes from such a young girl. It's incredible, if just a little bizarre seeing Little J from Gossip Girl singing in a band. I say go Taylor, even though I am ever so slightly jealous of how awesome she is. :P


P.S; I really want these. Ever since seeing Bowling For Soup's video for 'Girl All The Bad Guys Want' I've wanted tartan trousers. No real reason except that they're awesome. One day, they will be mine.

Pandora, my ass.

Oh just get over yourself why don't you?

I tell you, I genuinelly don't understand how some people can be so deluded...their minds wandering so far from the truth I almost feel sorry for them. Almost. You know the type I mean, sitting there in their 'newly decorated bedrooms' (bet it's as disgusting as you are), their 'significant other' named just as that, because it's 'ironic and mysterious' or some such nonsense not to use their name. Everyone knows who the fuck he is, no need to be cryptic.* I'd prefer people to openly pretend they're someone they're not, as opposed to pretending that they're NOT someone they're not. That made no sense. Let me clarify. These people who talk in these hardly passable metaphors, trying to be all creative and unique. Open your eyes, fool, you're far from original. You're just like every other show-off girl, trying to be understated by, oh yeah, crying for attention and claiming you don't want it. Strutting around in your disgusting fur jackets and posing like you're some sort of queen. Come back down to Earth, whore, you're just like everyone else. In fact, I'd be willing to argue that you're worse.

Though I guess it's sods law that you'll always find someone to claim as your own. Maybe us 'mere mortals' are just jealous, yeah? Nahh. I've seen evidence of your so-called relationship. And I've seen the mess left behind. If you're going to act like this perfect couple, at least get better at pretending. Though maybe I'm not giving one half of your pathetic pair enough credit. Afterall, he lies like a pro, not even batting an eyelid. Here's to hoping that he's slightly more honest with you, though I highly doubt it. If he is, then more fool you for putting up with it once again. All in all, it seems the pair of you are perfectly well suited. So go bask in each other's splendidly awful oversized shirts and baggy leggings. Trust me, you're definitely, definitely well suited.


*And yes, I am a hypocrite. How's that for 'ironic', bitch?

No matter how you slice it, it's still FLESH.

So it's come to my attention that I am yet to annoy you all with my vegetarian activism. Okay, so I'm not one of those people that goes around telling everyone they're evil and sits at the dinner table talking shit to those eating meat. Your decision is your decision. However, I am one to stand by my belief that, in general, eating meat is WRONG. And, as I feel the need to update my recently neglected blog yet am currently extremely lacking in inspiration, I thought I'd get the veggie message out there once again. I've grown up a lot since my more dedicated activist days...not that even they were that dedicated, but I still believe wholeheartedly in this, so am using my blog as an excuse to lecture you all to some degree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XF5RqF9lBM


Chew on that. ^^


The more observant of you will realise that there's a bit of a tyrade against dairy in there as well. I'm putting out there right now that I am not vegan, no matter how much I wish I had the will power to be. Consequently, you may argue I have no right to get all guilt trippy. And you're right, I probably don't. But I'm still a vegetarian, still doing more for these helpless creatures than the majority of the world. I am in no way 'better' than anyone else, nor am I under the illusion that anyone will take what I have to say to heart. But at least my own conscience will be clear. I have, in my time, converted a small number of people to vegetarian, and if I can convert just one more person (or at least open the eyes of at least one more person) then I will be happy.

Now, enough of the rambling. Enough of my pitiful attempts at justifying myself...I shouldn't have to. I just wanted a small disclaimer saying that I am in no way trying to FORCE my beliefs on anyone else. Likewise, I am not claiming to be unbiased, of course I'm biased: hello, vegetarian here!

So to the point, if you hadn't yet grasped it. Every single year, hundred of thousands of animals are kept in dark, uncomfortable squalor until deemed fit for slaughter. They are treated as if they do not matter, no care for the pain they feel, no thanks for the fact that they will be providing the, in many cases, undeserved meal. Not to mention the fact that eating some mushed up dead thing is just plain gross.

No matter how much I go on and on about all this, though, I doubt people haven't heard it all before. Instead, then, I think I will just try to answer some of the arguments given against vegetarianism. Here goes nothing...


"Animals eat other animals. It's nature."

Funnily enough, this just came up on an episode of Futurama that my brothers are watching. On the surface, it seems like a reasonable argument, right? Well...no. First things first, animals do a lot of things that we DON'T do. Some animals eat their own young, yet I see few people arguing for us to do the same. It is also worth mentioning that, as far as we are aware, animals do not have the same level of reasoning that we as humans do. Animals are not fully aware of what is right and wrong, yet we are, and so can be held morally responsible for our behaviour. Finally, yet perhaps most importantly, they need it to survive. Though, this leads onto the next argument.

"We need meat in order to survive, it is unhealthy not to eat meat."

No, mate. If meat were necessary for the survival of human beings, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be sat here typing this now. Vegetarianism CAN be extremely unhealthy if a balanced diet is not maintained and the necessary nutrients gained, though this is the same of any diet. I am in no way suggesting that people sacrifice their health and survival for vegetarianism, not in the slightest. The thing is, whereas our ancestors relied on meat to survive, we now have (in our society, at least) many meat alternatives which means that we no longer need to harm animals. Other animals, however, do not have such options available and so, for them, it would be unhealthy to not eat other animals.


"It tastes good."

I don't even know why I am honouring this one with a response. It seems so obvious to me that one should not have to go through torture, suffering and DEATH merely for the sake of another's tastebuds. That's sick, end of.


"Most animals are actually treated well." // "I only eat free range, so it's fine."

This is fair enough. I will admit, firstly, that many animals bred for meat ARE treated with respect and, if one must eat meat, the animal should at least have been treated well in life. Of course, that doesn't take away from the fact that it was still once a living being, but I guess you all know that anyway and aren't so fussed.



So there we have it, I did my best. I will now say quite openly that I am well aware that it would be extremely impractical if everyone suddenly decided to become vegetarian. Likewise, many people would be out of work if meat was not eaten etcetc. I acknowledge all of this. However, I am also realistic in that vegetarianism will most likely always be a minority view, so my attempting to convert just a few more is hardly going to have to great an effect. You may well argue that me as one individual isn't really helping animals in the grand scheme of things, and you may well be quite right. However, I am personally repulsed by the thought of meat itself. It is not so much the negative treatment, more the fact that I just find it disgusting. And I am entitled to that belief. I've given my view, and I've acknowledged that I have little (note, I say little here, for I cannot deny that I think meat is wrong) against those who do eat meat. At the end of the day, it is an individual decision that I respect. Just make it an informed one.

Bury The Castle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A63VwWz1ij0
[so, apparantly, html hates me and I can't embed this video...]

Go get your shovel, and we'll dig a deep hole to bury the castle, bury the castle.

I didn't get it at first. The words were just that, words, and the video (though I loved it) both intrigued yet disturbed me. On closer listening, however, I realise that there is so much truth in this song. As children, we live in a fantasy world. We don't understand the horrors of the world, and if we do see them we create a new world for ourselves, to break away from the pain we just can't deal with. Whether we had such horrors in our own childhoods or not is irrelevant, because we all lived as a child, we all had childish fantasies and innocent dreams. But as we grow, we realise that the world is far from perfect. We are tempted to stay inside ourselves, we try so hard to hold onto the safe fantasies of our youth.

She lives in a fairytale, somewhere too far for us to find.

But is this wise? Eventually we all have to grow up, we all have to accept the world and live in it. We can't keep ignoring reality forever. We have to accept it and be aware of it, so that we can live in it. I don't think, however, that we should just forget our childhood, forget those naive thoughts. I think a bit of childish, carefree fun is important, and equally necessary to be able to survive in this world. We just can't lose ourselves in it, we need to be able to be found.

Keep your feet on the ground when your head's in the clouds.

We need to learn to find the balance. We can live in our own little world, as long as we don't get lost there completely. Reality must be held onto, because you can't live in this world without accepting that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

I don't think that "burying the castle" is forgetting that magical world that you've created, we all need an escape. But we also all need to, at some stage and to some extent, grow up. To "bury the castle" is merely letting it be in your past. It is remembering your childhood memories with gladness, and then moving on to your future. When someone dies, you bury them, but they are never forgotten. In the same way, we should never forget our childhood, but we need to at some point accept that it's over, and that we can't live in a fantasy world forever. No, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but it's not all rainclouds and thunder either. Plus, I think we tend to forget that to see the rainbow, you need the rain.

Wet Beaches and Dry Martinis

Hero: a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal (dictionary.com).

A hero is someone who you look up to and admire, a personal hero being someone who you aspire to be like, perhaps, or just who has had an impact upon your life. Heroes come in many shapes and sizes. Family and friends are the obvious choices, and perhaps some inspiring historical figure (though that is slightly less personal, I guess). For me, my family and friends are obviously an inspiration and are obviously heroes to me, but a special mention also goes to 4 simply amazing guys, who have actually led to me meeting some of the best friends ever.

MADINA LAKE and THE RIVER CREEPS

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to see Madina Lake, yet again. Queuing up outside a venue with a bunch of people you originally met online, or (in fact) you haven't really met at all yet, may not seem like everyone's idea of fun. For me, though, there really is nothing better. The days I spend queuing, followed by the nights I spend gigging, are some of my very favourites. At a gig, I can be completely myself. Everything else is forgotten, I'm totally free. And that is due to Madina Lake. It may seem crazy for some people, but Madina Lake really are a huge part of my life. Most of my money seems to go on them, a lot of my friends I've met through them, and without them I wouldn't be the person I am today. I genuinelly cannot find the words to describe how being at one of their gigs feels, or even just listening to their music. There are no words to possibly explain how much they mean to me. They teach about respect, about not judging others, and they can relate to a lot of things that I, and many others, go through etc. On top of that, they are some of the most lovely, and hilarious, people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

This post hasn't been the most articulate, but sometimes words just aren't enough. Really, I'm just giving a massive shout out to the River People, and telling everyone who my personal heroes are. You may not get it, but don't diss it.

RPs for life. <3

Home

What is home?

1. Place where one lives.
2. Place where one was born or grew up.

Already the term is somewhat ambiguous. Why? Because 'home' is different for all of us. 'Home' is a feeling, rather than necessarily a fixed place. According to the dictionary, it seems that one could have more than one home...the place where one grew up, where their history or family are, and the place where one lives. When speaking about home to one of my friends once, they told me that home was them, their home was wherever they were, dependent on who they were with and the safety they felt. I guess this makes sense. Instead of being a fixed location, home is somewhere comfortable. At 'home' you can be completely yourself. You're safe from harm and around people or things that you love. 'Home' doesn't have to be an impressive structure with big screen TVs and voice-controlled lighting. I am of the belief even a box can be a home, a sanctuary for you to be at peace and reflect, for you to laugh and joke and be completely free.

Later today, I will be on a presumably full National Express coach back to what I call 'home'. I'm going back to where I grew up, where my family reside, so that I can have early birthday celebrations with them. Of course, I have come to realise that I also find myself calling university 'home'. I live here for part of the year, I am comfortable and happy here. I feel safe amongst some of the best friends I have ever known.

What's home for you? I figure it's not necessarily where your family live, where you grew up. A town or house is not a 'home' if you don't have that feeling of homeliness when you're there. Home is wherever you make it, wherever feels right. I'm lucky, in a sense, that my home is so straightforward. However, when I stop to think and reflect, I notice that it is not as straightforward as it once was. I'm not a child anymore, home isn't somewhere I run to after school to play with my dolls or cry my heart out over the latest horrific maths encounter. The meaning of 'home' is changing for me, and I know that I will soon have so many. But my true home, I believe, will probably always be where my family are. It's where I can run to, no matter how old, and get a hug from my mum or dad and the naive reassurance that everything's going to be just fine. And I know it will be, because I'll always have that place to run to, as if it were a problem just as simple as a maths problem from primary school.

Of course, the question then becomes 'What is family?' a group of parents and their children. one's spouse and children. one's children. group descended from a common ancestor. No. Blood doesn't always equal family. Families, like homes, come in all sorts of different forms. Family is not necessarily your ancestry. Family is home. My family is the more traditional kind. There's a mum, a dad, 3 wonderful yet slightly deranged offspring. There's grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. But there are other people who I consider family too. They are not blood relatives but they're still family. Like I said, family is home. Family is who, no matter what arguments occur, will always be there at the end of the day. Real family can be blood relatives or friends or anyone who you feel completely and utterly safe around.

'Home' for me then? It's somewhere you run when there's nowhere else to go. It's full of love. Not all homes are the traditional kind. Some are made up of groups of friends, some are just that falling apart backpack you take with you from place to place. But in the end, the feeling is the same. It's safe, it's happy and it's always there. <3

Kill The Knave

Once again, I am motivated to do something semi-productive, like start yet another blog, in the hopes of making myself feel somewhat creative and as if I'm making a difference and speaking out to the world...when really I'm just like every other hopeless and idealistic 18 year old blogger with no life. Excuse the ramblings, they're not all that impressive. Unlike everyone else on the web, though, I'm willing to admit to this fact, along with the fact that I'm saying all this stuff because in my mind it sounds so aimlessly cool. In reality, I'm nothing special, no different to anyone else trying to prove themselves as something offbeat and totally dedicated to the cause (whatever 'the cause' may be that week...). I'm as apathetic as the rest. In fact, I'm worse, because I so often claim not to be.

What even is "Kill The Knave"? A half-hearted attempt at sounding interesting and cutting edge? Me trying to be different, unique and clever all at once by using some abstract concept that even I am unsure of the meaning of? According to the Collins Pocket Dictionary lying conveniently to my left, 'knave' can be used to describe a 'dishonest man'. So I'm wanting to kill said dishonest men? Well, perhaps. Or, more likely, I just value the virtue of honesty. And that is what you'll see right here. My blog, probably quite rarely updated, will be one of honesty. I'm not one for bullshitting about what an amazing person I am (by, ironically, claiming to be completely the opposite), I'm not one to crave attention by pretending to be different whilst actually being exactly the same. Or maybe I am, seeing as I've fallen into the trap of creating another blog and becoming just another cliche. I think I sound clever with these words, when really they're just words...beautiful words that make no sense, because that's the point. If something doesn't make sense, it's clearly because it's 'cool', 'original' or 'clever'. No. This is just me. This is my blog. I'll talk like a mentalist but it will all be true. And what's truth? See 'true'. in accordance with facts. genuine. faithful. exact.

Kill the dishonesty, speak what's true. <3