Sex: destroyer of relationships?

**This is a very 'un-me' type blog post, to be sure, but something my friend said to me got me thinking that it might be a good topic nonetheless. Now, being bored and needing to update, I return to this thought as no other seems to be appearing in my blogging brain. How sad.**

In a typically girly discussion quite a few days back now, my friend put a most interesting thought into my head: is sex the reason why relationships nowadays breakdown so much more often than those of generations past?
This seems odd. We hear so often of relationships breaking down because of a lack of sex so how on earth could having sex be a contributing factor to break ups and divorce? Let me clarify. Perhaps it is the case that couples in previous generations last longer because they didn't rush into anything, they didn't have sex so early and actually got to know each other first. Relationships were not centred around sex.
Well, this does, to an extent, make sense. Relationships now, at least amongst young adults, do seem predominantly sexual. Relationship = sex. It's pretty much all people seem to talk about. Factor in the amount of unprotected sex, and one night stands, leading to pregnancy and...voila! You're stuck. Ultimately, having sex earlier on, even before the relationship has become a relationship, leads to you having less chance to get to know the person before you actually commit.
Of course, all this is said with the assumption that sex automatically ties in with commitment, with something deeper than the act itself. In today's more sexually permissive society, is this really the case? Most would say not, and so the argument set out by my friend becomes invalid.
Or not. As much as we might like to assure ourselves that sex is just sex, that there is no emotional tie whatsoever, I am inclined to believe that this is not necessarily true. Now, in some cases it most certainly IS true, don't get me wrong. But, especially for girls, sex is often something more. Not necessarily something "special", certainly not always an act of "love" and "commitment", BUT there is some emotion there. We can't help it, it's in our hormones.
Sex doesn't have the same connotations that it had in generations past. It's not always waited for until we're absolutely, completely in love, and that is not a bad thing. But, the thought my friend has is an interesting one. Maybe because we are now so blase about sex, relationships become blase as well. Maybe sex has more of an unconscious effect on us than we are aware of, or like to admit. People have sex, form some unconscious emotional attachment in their head, realise they don't actually like the person and...there you have it, another failed relationship. People go ahead and have sex before they perhaps should and so, indirectly, sex (or rather, rushing into it) could well be the reason (or at least one reason) why so many relationships today end up breaking down.
However, is it really accurate to claim that people today rush into relationships whereas those in the past were thought about with care and consideration, not rushed into at all? No, of course not. If anything, people commited much quicker then than they do now. People married younger, had families younger and, quite often, the relationships were not their own choice. This was all expected of them, so they did it. As it was expected, and divorce was less tolerated, relationships lasted. Nothing to do with sex, moreso with societies views and values. Going with this line of thought, then, relationships now are no more screwed than they were in the past, we're just more open about it.
One must not presume that early marriage etc was/is all negative, though. Some relationships were of course put together by people other than the couple, and they were rushed into in terms of getting married young and for the purposes of family or money, but the fact still remains that values have changed, and not necessarily for the better. Going back just 20 or 30 years ago, marriages were not forced, yet divorce rate has still been on the increase. Likewise, studies into pre-arranged marriages in other cultures have shown that those couples tend to stay together longer, and love each other more (after some years), than those in Western societies.
Again, then, we arrive at the conclusion that maybe we as a society do rush into sex, that if we just took the time to get to know someone, then we'd probably be better off in the long run.
It is true to say that sex and relationships tend to go hand in hand. However, in terms of one influencing the other, I'm inclined to believe this is more to do with individual circumstances than a steadfast rule. It does seem the case that there is some truth in my friend's casual musing but, maybe, we're just looking for too much. Girls today aren't content with just finding a nice guy, we seem to want it all. There's all this pressure on guys to be the perfect man, that prince, or knight in shining armour. In other words, we all want what is impossible for us to have. Maybe if we just accept that people aren't perfect and stop finding so many faults in others, then relationships might also have a better chance of working. Not only did sex come later in past generations, but we were also much more content with what we had, and weren't looking for that perfect prince who was never going to come. Instead of sex being the factor, then, maybe we just need to be more accepting of people and their 'quirks'. We all clearly want too much.
Is there even such thing as love anymore? Or has that been lost in our constant failed attempts at finding 'Mr. Right'? Do we even give love a chance these days, what with our obsession with all those other 'most important' factors? Was there ever such a thing as love? Would we even know what it was if it suddenly came and kicked us in the gut? And, is love really in line with relationships and marriages?

Yes, that was just a long and random series of thoughts around this subject, making me feel way more like Carrie Bradshaw than I'd perhaps like, but it was written as what my friend said really made me think. Of course, today's society is made up of a bunch of deluded idealists, and another bunch of cynical idiots. Let's just find a happy medium and all this would be solved, yes? ---says the cynic. ;-)

We're those kids.

My friend and fellow River Creep tagged me in this picture on Facebook. It struck me how true it is. <3


I think I'll print it when I get the chance, and put it up in my room. My new room, in my new student house. It's looking good so far, a lot more homey now I've got posters and pictures and postcards etc up on the walls, and all my lovely figures on display.

***
In other news, True Blood is EPIC. I watched the last episode of the third series last night, and can I say 'wow'?! As my friend rightly said, Eric even manages to be sexy covered in cement. I for one cannot wait for the next series.

'Life, what is it but a dream?'

This morning, I finished reading Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass. What amazing worlds Carroll has created! I love the magic and mystery and childishness of it all. I love the lands of nonsense that are so random yet make so much sense all at the same time; it's like logic to the point of being illogical (or so illogical its logical...). I love both stories the entire way through...until the end. When Alice wakes up, it all having been some elaborate, juvenile dream; a fantasy. Now, don't get me wrong, dreams are lovely things, especially the childish kind, and these books show just how magical the mind of a child can be. BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A DREAM?! This is a work of fiction, a cute little story created for a child to enjoy. Isn't that what stories are about? For both the young and the old, stories provide an escape, a chance for us all to go wandering around some other world, having crazy adventures and forgetting our own dull lives for just a short while. Contrary to the title quote of this blog, life is not a dream (or maybe it is, but that's a philosophical discussion that I don't wish to get lost in right now...), that's why we need fairytales. Reaching the end of an otherwise highly satisfying book to find it was all a wild concoction of the protagonist's mind...well, talk about anti-climax.

I guess I'll overlook this, though, as the stories are actually a work of genius. That, and the fact that I do not wish to offend one particular friend of mine, who loves these tales more than life itself... almost. :)

Sneezes, Secrets and a Rather Nice Dress

I'm freezing cold and all sneezy today. Summer is definitely leaving us...the perfect excuse for a lazy day in, I think. :) Until tonight, of course - we're going out for my brother's birthday. He turned 15 today...I feel old, despite only being 19.

***
Moving on, there aren't many good postsecrets this week, I don't think. I totally forgot to post my favourites from last week, which makes me sad, but ohwell. I did like this one today... it reminds me of what's important. There's nothing beautiful about being made out of plastic - it's all FAKE.



Well, that and the fact it makes me feel better 'cos I have terrible skin right now.

***
This dress is absolutely stunning. I love it.



Courtesy of Offbeat Bride via the wonderful blog of LankyJane. :)


That is all. x

Much needed update.

So, I fail at life...having not updated my dear blog in what seems like an AGE. I did start to write a Sonisphere review but then got waylaid and now it seems vaguely irrelevant. I'll just cover that one with the guarantee that it really was one the best weekends of my life. One of the smelliest and most sleep-deprived, yes...but all that pain was well worth it.

In the time I have been away from my blog, I have also been abroad - to the Dominican Republic no less. When I've finally got my butt into gear and uploaded the holiday snaps, I might blog about my wonderful Carribean holiday in more detail. Yes, I do need photos for that. ;)

So now I suppose we're back in the present. I spent this past weekend in Nottingham, staying in the house that will soon be my home for the coming year. It was tons of fun and makes me so excited to move in properly in a couple of weeks. Somehow, without my even realising it, I feel like I've started to grow up. Soon I'll actually be required to look after myself...cooking, cleaning etc etc. But, that thought doesn't fill me with the amount of dread that I expected. Lord help me, I'm becoming something close to a mature adult. Whatever next?!

Please note the 'something close'. Yesterday I did something equally out of character, but not quite so sensible and mature, blowing quite a bit of money doing some internet shopping. Along with some My Passion and Dead By April tickets, I purchased the following:





I know, I'm far too cool.

Adios! x

Soni!

So, this is where I'm heading off to in less than an hour...



YES, MATE.

Amy, Sweet Amy.

I'm yet to do a name post on my blog, which seems odd as they are such a (rather bizarre) passion of mine. Still, there's a first time for everything, and I think I can say that this is the first time for a name to take centre stage on here. Non-name lovers, please bear with me.

From behindthename.com :
AMY

Gender: Feminine

Usage: English

Pronounced: AY-mee
English form of the Old French name Amée meaning "beloved" (modern French aimée), a vernacular form of the Latin Amata. As an English name, it was in use in the Middle Ages (though not common) and was revived in the 19th century.


Sweet sound, lovely meaning, fair usage, no obvious teasing potential...this seems like the perfect name choice. It is not so popular these days, but it IS heard of, which makes it an excellent option for any parent to be (unless, you know, they have some terrible personal association with the name). Yes, lovely. Hence it's position on my main list of favourite names. But why only my main list, I hear you ask? Well, it's me isn't it? I like things interesting, just that little bit more unusual, and whilst Amy is utterly charming, it lacks that spark; I can't see it wowing people so much, I doubt anyone would think twice about meeting someone named Amy.

It would seem then, that fair Amy needs a little spicing up. Parents could always go for the more elaborate French version (Aimée) but I find that just a little too fussy. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is beautiful. BUT, if a little bit more spark and interest is what you're looking for, this barely fits the bill. It's pretty much the same name, just with some more letters and an accent thrown in. Charming, but not altogether different when spoken. From my experience, I think there are two ways in which Amy can become just that little bit more interesting: NICKNAME and MIDDLE NAME.

Nickname
I have heard a couple of Amy's say that they see nothing wrong with their name, as such, but have always wished it were longer, or a nickname for something longer. So, what names could Amy be a nickname for? This is what I've come up with (of course, some are more usable than others):

Amalia
Amabel
Amadea
Amelia
Amélie
Amethyst
Amia
Amira
Amity
Araminta


Middle Name
I think Amy is so unexpected as a middle name choice that it instantly becomes fresh and new again. It can sweeten a more heavy first name, or tone down a more elaborate first name. Here's some combos I've come up with:

Beatrix Amy
Constance Amy
Delphine Amy
Genevieve Amy
Rosamund Amy
Temperance Amy
Vivienne Amy
Winifred Amy


So there we have it, my first "Name In The Spotlight" if you will. Probably a bit more detailed than any further name mentions will be, but the name Amy was just being discussed on the forum I visit, and it led to some interesting thoughts on my part. :)

Honeymoon At Hogwarts

There were many good postsecrets this week, but this is the one I'm focussing on because I think it's cute and fun, but also holds some truth about humanity. Yes, you read that correctly, I'm going to get something really deep and meaningful out of one person's love of Harry Potter, a fictional boy wizard.
I think that's the point, to be honest, that it's fictional. Every once in a while, we all need an escape from our real lives, and what better way to escape than delve into a fantasy realm and read about someone else's life in a far off world for a while? I think that's why I love reading so much...open a book and you're suddenly transported into another time or place entirely, following the lives of some made up person/animal/being for a while. I think that it's important to have that escape, that chance to relax and rewind, to live your dreams in your head for a bit, or worry about your favourite characters problems for a change, instead of your own. Experience one 12 year old's battle against pure evil and you suddenly realise that your own problems aren't all that bad.

***

In other news, how freaking awesome is this T-shirt?



It's only made better by the fact that proceeds go to Matthew's medical bill fund. I know what I'm buying as soon as I have money! CLICK HERE to grab one for yourself. :)

***
Finally, I am currently listening to Avenged's new album, Nightmare. In all honesty, I'm not overly impressed with it so far, but it could grow on me. You can definitely hear the raw emotion and pain that each of the remaining band members must be feeling at this time, I'll give them that.

Dead By Passion

I just found out that Dead By April are playing with My Passion on their October tour.

HAVE TO GO.

That is all. x

Glasses, Beards and Mermaid Tails.

So once again I've been browsing post secret. This one got me thinking because I often find that I, too, hide behind my glasses (but not so much my beard...).




And this one just made me smile. :)




I hope you're smiling too.

A little rant.

Having been brought up in an environment where those with disabilities are seen as complete equals, it never ceases to amaze me how cruel and heartless some people can be on the subject of disability, especially in the case of children. Today, I was told of one particular instance that really had me fuming. A grown woman, a MOTHER in fact, actually had the audacity to request that one mother leave with her disabled son as he was "scaring her daughter". Now, I'm sorry...WHAT?! How on earth is this mature, adult behaviour? What sort of twisted message is this sending to her daughter? Surely she should be teaching her not to be afraid, teaching her that we should treat every person in this world with love and respect. And if she had a problem, I'm of the opinion she should have got up and left herself!

Amidst my outrage at this completely inappropriate behaviour, though, I also have questions. Are the people who say things such as this cruel? Or are they merely uneducated? Are all these negative attitudes towards disability stemming from the fact that these people genuinelly just do not understand? Is it possible that, if they had been taught from the word go not to be so wary of disability, they would actually be much more accepting of it? Perhaps this particular mother was not asking the other to leave in a malicious way, rather she did not know how to deal with a situation involving a special needs child.

So now I wonder...what can we do? It seems to me that so many people in this world, so many otherwise lovely, kind people, are harbouring fears and anxieties about those who may have differing needs to their own, those who have disabilities. And these fears and anxieties, I believe, stem from a lack of education, a lack of experience. It scares and saddens me that such people will then undoubtedly pass on similar ignorant beliefs to their own offspring, and the cycle will continue. How can we stop this? How can we get through to people that disability is not something to fear, that those with special needs should not be alienated, that they're not all that different from anyone else?

I don't know what point this blog post had. I suppose it was just a rant on my part, a chance for me to express my utter outrage at how so so many still think it is ok to treat others like crap. It's time it ended. It's cruel, it's heartless and it's ignorant. It deeply upsets me, too, that it is so easily avoidable. If people would just open their minds, open their hearts, I think this world would be a much better place. We need to speak up. But I'm not sure that's enough. We need action. We need to ACT, we need to PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH. For me it's just natural to treat all people with care, respect, love and equality. I barely bat an eye because I am so used to my home being filled with kids, some disabled some not. I view them all as just that, kids. And they're awesome. It's time for action. And it's time for those who don't know, those who are still harbouring these ancient and outrageous fears, to stand up and be willing to learn.

Barnardo's.

^^Click it.

<3

Know Any Wizards?

Me and my friend, Vikki Violet, have decided we'd like to take a trip somewhere random and just hang out there, not unlike what we did one day in Nottingham about a year ago (before I was at uni there). So, we looked at a map of Britain and have decided we'd rather like to go to Cromer. The problem? It's a devil to get to, so we definitely need to find a wizard in order for our dream to pan out and become reality. Haha. This is a shame, just look how cool the place looks:



Perfect for a random day out, don't you think?


***

In other news, we saw Summerlin last night. They are pretty darn good, and lovely boys, so check them out. That gig reminded me just how much I love the alternative/rock/metal etc music scene. There's nothing quite like being at a gig, there really isn't. :)

A Secret Shared

I don't know about any of you, but I love post secret. I just checked in there (a little later than usual) to see the latest ones, and thought I'd share my favourites. I think I'll put up my favourite post secrets every week, if I remember, 'cos they're so cool. Some are funny, some are sad, some make you feel better 'cos you know exactly what they mean, some make you think and understand people just a little bit more. So, these are my favourites for this week:




A little praise goes a long way.



LOL, much?



I get that completely, because I'd be exactly the same.



And that's just plain compassion.

<3

Maybe it's just 'cos it's Summer...

I am suddenly finding myself becoming far more girly. Not according to most people's standards, not at all, but to my own I am definitely becoming a more feminine being. Lol. I find myself looking at dresses online, and liking more typically "girly" music. Maybe I'm just growing up, or maybe the things that are important to me are changing and those things that I once loved now seem so insignificant. Don't get me wrong, I'm still my good ol' cba man self, but there's a girl in there too, and I think she's showing her face more these days.

I'm loving this song, for example:
[apologies for only half the picture, html sucks ass]



As the title of this blog post would suggest, maybe it's just 'cos it's Summer. The beat is so light and fun, and the video looks so bright and carefree and makes me want to get off this dreary British Isle and appear somewhere warm and sunny with a beach and the sea. Give it a month, just under, and I'll be sunning myself on the beach, cocktail in hand, in the Dominican Republic. My oh my, I love Summer. And, yes, I might even be wearing a dress.

That's alright because I like the way it hurts.

Yes, I am officially basing my blog around a song that features Rihanna, the singer I have on many occasions said I have an 'irrational hatred' of. Lately, though, I have warmed to a couple of her songs. 'Rude Boy', for example, is pretty cool...if a little boring to my ears now, and 'Te Amo' has a cool Summery vibe about it, which I like. Of course, the song in question today is the Eminem one that she is featured on, 'Love The Way You Lie'.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
Love the way you lie
It makes sense, it really does. It seems to me that most people will feel at least a little like this at some point in their lives, some more than others. It's that feeling where you're pretty certain that some person in your life isn't really that fussed about you, that they're just taking advantage of your good nature or whatever, but you're somehow ok with that because a life with them hurting you seems to be better than a life without them at all.

Like the way it hurts.
Not necessarily the pain itself, rather the feeling that that person is still there, that they're in your life. For some reason, if you care about them that much, it doesn't matter whether the only way you really feel them in your life is through the pain they cause you, as long as you still feel their presence. It's that whole idea of wanting the pain purely so you feel something, making you feel real and safe, regardless of whether you actually are. When writing about it objectively, it seems so stupid, but when you're in the situation there is no objectivity, you stick with it because you don't want to think about the alternative, the life without them. Perhaps the thought is too scary, or perhaps you just love them too much.

Love the way you lie.
Of course you do. It means that, even for a second, you can believe that they are the person you want them to be, the friend they always say they are. Their actions often say otherwise, but occasionally they might do or say something completely amazing, that pulls you right back and makes you give them a second chance. In life, in friendships and romantic relationships and many other situations, we all want to believe the lies, we love them, because they give us that false hope. It's like the semi-famous saying, 'lies are easier to believe than the truth'. And they are. We tell white lies all the time, to stop ourselves from hurting someone else. Sometimes that's fine, but I'm a firm believer that honesty really is the best policy in the majority of circumstances. Especially if the person kinda knows the truth already, and your lies are just helping feed their fantasy, helping them to ignore the truth and lie to themselves. All this reminds me of the Paramore lyric: If you wanna play this like a game, well come on, come on let's play. Cuz I'd rather waste my time pretending, than have to forget you for one whole minute. I get it, I do, but it's always struck me as odd. Of course you don't want to forget the person, but there comes a time when enough really is enough.

I guess what I'm saying is that, so often in our lives, we're willing to believe lies and we're willing to get hurt, purely because it seems easier than just walking away. If we ever get a glimpse of a life away from that, though, we can see that, actually, it's not so bad. In fact, it's often even better. The truth does hurt, it hurts a whole lot, but it also sets you free. So, in the long run, I can't see how it's not the better option. After putting up with so much hurt, I guess it would be a relief to finally walk away, despite how difficult it might be at first.

So, I guess I should say GO RIHANNA! And, of course, Eminem, but saying he rules has never been as difficult as admitting my newfound love of some of Rihanna's work. Eminem's just amazing anyway. :)

Hero.

<3

For Matthew.

I don't even know what to say. Some of the worst news in a long time has just reached me, and I suddenly feel so lazy for having my lie in and hearing about it so much later. Just. Ohmygod.

I have so little faith in humanity right now. So little faith in the world. Yet so so so much faith in certain people. It fills me with happiness to know that there are some people who do give a damn. The thing is, in a world full of hate and pain and violence, is that seemingly small group of people enough? I guess it has to be.



^^
This man, Matthew Leone, is one person whom I have the utmost faith in. He is one person who will do anything to help you out. He is amazing. And guess what? He's paying for it. Where is the justice in that? One of my heroes, one of the nicest, truest people out there is currently lying in a hospital bed, a third of his skull removed, fighting for his life. And why? Because he cared. He saw a woman being abused, and tried to help.

I try so hard to make sense of this world, but it seems it just won't make sense. All I can do is try my best to live in it, and be the best person I can be. For Matthew, if for no-one else. The response to this event from fellow River People has been amazing. It has been so beautiful and strong, and reminds me of all the good out there. But it only helps a fraction with the pain and anger inside me right now. This sort of thng should not happen. It should not have happened to that poor woman, and it should not have happened to Matthew.

I do not know what else to say. I don't even know if what I have said makes any sense at all. But I needed to write. I needed to respond to this in my own way.

Please, Matthew, keep fighting. Stay strong. Get better soon.

All my love to Madina, their friends, their families and, as always, the ever-amazing River People. <3

You Make Me Wanna Die.

Everything looks better when the sun goes down.

I am completely obsessed with this song at the moment. The video isn't anything too special, just your standard music video really, but I don't think it needs to be. It's hard to believe that a voice like that comes from such a young girl. It's incredible, if just a little bizarre seeing Little J from Gossip Girl singing in a band. I say go Taylor, even though I am ever so slightly jealous of how awesome she is. :P


P.S; I really want these. Ever since seeing Bowling For Soup's video for 'Girl All The Bad Guys Want' I've wanted tartan trousers. No real reason except that they're awesome. One day, they will be mine.

Pandora, my ass.

Oh just get over yourself why don't you?

I tell you, I genuinelly don't understand how some people can be so deluded...their minds wandering so far from the truth I almost feel sorry for them. Almost. You know the type I mean, sitting there in their 'newly decorated bedrooms' (bet it's as disgusting as you are), their 'significant other' named just as that, because it's 'ironic and mysterious' or some such nonsense not to use their name. Everyone knows who the fuck he is, no need to be cryptic.* I'd prefer people to openly pretend they're someone they're not, as opposed to pretending that they're NOT someone they're not. That made no sense. Let me clarify. These people who talk in these hardly passable metaphors, trying to be all creative and unique. Open your eyes, fool, you're far from original. You're just like every other show-off girl, trying to be understated by, oh yeah, crying for attention and claiming you don't want it. Strutting around in your disgusting fur jackets and posing like you're some sort of queen. Come back down to Earth, whore, you're just like everyone else. In fact, I'd be willing to argue that you're worse.

Though I guess it's sods law that you'll always find someone to claim as your own. Maybe us 'mere mortals' are just jealous, yeah? Nahh. I've seen evidence of your so-called relationship. And I've seen the mess left behind. If you're going to act like this perfect couple, at least get better at pretending. Though maybe I'm not giving one half of your pathetic pair enough credit. Afterall, he lies like a pro, not even batting an eyelid. Here's to hoping that he's slightly more honest with you, though I highly doubt it. If he is, then more fool you for putting up with it once again. All in all, it seems the pair of you are perfectly well suited. So go bask in each other's splendidly awful oversized shirts and baggy leggings. Trust me, you're definitely, definitely well suited.


*And yes, I am a hypocrite. How's that for 'ironic', bitch?

No matter how you slice it, it's still FLESH.

So it's come to my attention that I am yet to annoy you all with my vegetarian activism. Okay, so I'm not one of those people that goes around telling everyone they're evil and sits at the dinner table talking shit to those eating meat. Your decision is your decision. However, I am one to stand by my belief that, in general, eating meat is WRONG. And, as I feel the need to update my recently neglected blog yet am currently extremely lacking in inspiration, I thought I'd get the veggie message out there once again. I've grown up a lot since my more dedicated activist days...not that even they were that dedicated, but I still believe wholeheartedly in this, so am using my blog as an excuse to lecture you all to some degree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XF5RqF9lBM


Chew on that. ^^


The more observant of you will realise that there's a bit of a tyrade against dairy in there as well. I'm putting out there right now that I am not vegan, no matter how much I wish I had the will power to be. Consequently, you may argue I have no right to get all guilt trippy. And you're right, I probably don't. But I'm still a vegetarian, still doing more for these helpless creatures than the majority of the world. I am in no way 'better' than anyone else, nor am I under the illusion that anyone will take what I have to say to heart. But at least my own conscience will be clear. I have, in my time, converted a small number of people to vegetarian, and if I can convert just one more person (or at least open the eyes of at least one more person) then I will be happy.

Now, enough of the rambling. Enough of my pitiful attempts at justifying myself...I shouldn't have to. I just wanted a small disclaimer saying that I am in no way trying to FORCE my beliefs on anyone else. Likewise, I am not claiming to be unbiased, of course I'm biased: hello, vegetarian here!

So to the point, if you hadn't yet grasped it. Every single year, hundred of thousands of animals are kept in dark, uncomfortable squalor until deemed fit for slaughter. They are treated as if they do not matter, no care for the pain they feel, no thanks for the fact that they will be providing the, in many cases, undeserved meal. Not to mention the fact that eating some mushed up dead thing is just plain gross.

No matter how much I go on and on about all this, though, I doubt people haven't heard it all before. Instead, then, I think I will just try to answer some of the arguments given against vegetarianism. Here goes nothing...


"Animals eat other animals. It's nature."

Funnily enough, this just came up on an episode of Futurama that my brothers are watching. On the surface, it seems like a reasonable argument, right? Well...no. First things first, animals do a lot of things that we DON'T do. Some animals eat their own young, yet I see few people arguing for us to do the same. It is also worth mentioning that, as far as we are aware, animals do not have the same level of reasoning that we as humans do. Animals are not fully aware of what is right and wrong, yet we are, and so can be held morally responsible for our behaviour. Finally, yet perhaps most importantly, they need it to survive. Though, this leads onto the next argument.

"We need meat in order to survive, it is unhealthy not to eat meat."

No, mate. If meat were necessary for the survival of human beings, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be sat here typing this now. Vegetarianism CAN be extremely unhealthy if a balanced diet is not maintained and the necessary nutrients gained, though this is the same of any diet. I am in no way suggesting that people sacrifice their health and survival for vegetarianism, not in the slightest. The thing is, whereas our ancestors relied on meat to survive, we now have (in our society, at least) many meat alternatives which means that we no longer need to harm animals. Other animals, however, do not have such options available and so, for them, it would be unhealthy to not eat other animals.


"It tastes good."

I don't even know why I am honouring this one with a response. It seems so obvious to me that one should not have to go through torture, suffering and DEATH merely for the sake of another's tastebuds. That's sick, end of.


"Most animals are actually treated well." // "I only eat free range, so it's fine."

This is fair enough. I will admit, firstly, that many animals bred for meat ARE treated with respect and, if one must eat meat, the animal should at least have been treated well in life. Of course, that doesn't take away from the fact that it was still once a living being, but I guess you all know that anyway and aren't so fussed.



So there we have it, I did my best. I will now say quite openly that I am well aware that it would be extremely impractical if everyone suddenly decided to become vegetarian. Likewise, many people would be out of work if meat was not eaten etcetc. I acknowledge all of this. However, I am also realistic in that vegetarianism will most likely always be a minority view, so my attempting to convert just a few more is hardly going to have to great an effect. You may well argue that me as one individual isn't really helping animals in the grand scheme of things, and you may well be quite right. However, I am personally repulsed by the thought of meat itself. It is not so much the negative treatment, more the fact that I just find it disgusting. And I am entitled to that belief. I've given my view, and I've acknowledged that I have little (note, I say little here, for I cannot deny that I think meat is wrong) against those who do eat meat. At the end of the day, it is an individual decision that I respect. Just make it an informed one.

Bury The Castle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A63VwWz1ij0
[so, apparantly, html hates me and I can't embed this video...]

Go get your shovel, and we'll dig a deep hole to bury the castle, bury the castle.

I didn't get it at first. The words were just that, words, and the video (though I loved it) both intrigued yet disturbed me. On closer listening, however, I realise that there is so much truth in this song. As children, we live in a fantasy world. We don't understand the horrors of the world, and if we do see them we create a new world for ourselves, to break away from the pain we just can't deal with. Whether we had such horrors in our own childhoods or not is irrelevant, because we all lived as a child, we all had childish fantasies and innocent dreams. But as we grow, we realise that the world is far from perfect. We are tempted to stay inside ourselves, we try so hard to hold onto the safe fantasies of our youth.

She lives in a fairytale, somewhere too far for us to find.

But is this wise? Eventually we all have to grow up, we all have to accept the world and live in it. We can't keep ignoring reality forever. We have to accept it and be aware of it, so that we can live in it. I don't think, however, that we should just forget our childhood, forget those naive thoughts. I think a bit of childish, carefree fun is important, and equally necessary to be able to survive in this world. We just can't lose ourselves in it, we need to be able to be found.

Keep your feet on the ground when your head's in the clouds.

We need to learn to find the balance. We can live in our own little world, as long as we don't get lost there completely. Reality must be held onto, because you can't live in this world without accepting that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

I don't think that "burying the castle" is forgetting that magical world that you've created, we all need an escape. But we also all need to, at some stage and to some extent, grow up. To "bury the castle" is merely letting it be in your past. It is remembering your childhood memories with gladness, and then moving on to your future. When someone dies, you bury them, but they are never forgotten. In the same way, we should never forget our childhood, but we need to at some point accept that it's over, and that we can't live in a fantasy world forever. No, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but it's not all rainclouds and thunder either. Plus, I think we tend to forget that to see the rainbow, you need the rain.

Wet Beaches and Dry Martinis

Hero: a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal (dictionary.com).

A hero is someone who you look up to and admire, a personal hero being someone who you aspire to be like, perhaps, or just who has had an impact upon your life. Heroes come in many shapes and sizes. Family and friends are the obvious choices, and perhaps some inspiring historical figure (though that is slightly less personal, I guess). For me, my family and friends are obviously an inspiration and are obviously heroes to me, but a special mention also goes to 4 simply amazing guys, who have actually led to me meeting some of the best friends ever.

MADINA LAKE and THE RIVER CREEPS

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to see Madina Lake, yet again. Queuing up outside a venue with a bunch of people you originally met online, or (in fact) you haven't really met at all yet, may not seem like everyone's idea of fun. For me, though, there really is nothing better. The days I spend queuing, followed by the nights I spend gigging, are some of my very favourites. At a gig, I can be completely myself. Everything else is forgotten, I'm totally free. And that is due to Madina Lake. It may seem crazy for some people, but Madina Lake really are a huge part of my life. Most of my money seems to go on them, a lot of my friends I've met through them, and without them I wouldn't be the person I am today. I genuinelly cannot find the words to describe how being at one of their gigs feels, or even just listening to their music. There are no words to possibly explain how much they mean to me. They teach about respect, about not judging others, and they can relate to a lot of things that I, and many others, go through etc. On top of that, they are some of the most lovely, and hilarious, people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

This post hasn't been the most articulate, but sometimes words just aren't enough. Really, I'm just giving a massive shout out to the River People, and telling everyone who my personal heroes are. You may not get it, but don't diss it.

RPs for life. <3

Home

What is home?

1. Place where one lives.
2. Place where one was born or grew up.

Already the term is somewhat ambiguous. Why? Because 'home' is different for all of us. 'Home' is a feeling, rather than necessarily a fixed place. According to the dictionary, it seems that one could have more than one home...the place where one grew up, where their history or family are, and the place where one lives. When speaking about home to one of my friends once, they told me that home was them, their home was wherever they were, dependent on who they were with and the safety they felt. I guess this makes sense. Instead of being a fixed location, home is somewhere comfortable. At 'home' you can be completely yourself. You're safe from harm and around people or things that you love. 'Home' doesn't have to be an impressive structure with big screen TVs and voice-controlled lighting. I am of the belief even a box can be a home, a sanctuary for you to be at peace and reflect, for you to laugh and joke and be completely free.

Later today, I will be on a presumably full National Express coach back to what I call 'home'. I'm going back to where I grew up, where my family reside, so that I can have early birthday celebrations with them. Of course, I have come to realise that I also find myself calling university 'home'. I live here for part of the year, I am comfortable and happy here. I feel safe amongst some of the best friends I have ever known.

What's home for you? I figure it's not necessarily where your family live, where you grew up. A town or house is not a 'home' if you don't have that feeling of homeliness when you're there. Home is wherever you make it, wherever feels right. I'm lucky, in a sense, that my home is so straightforward. However, when I stop to think and reflect, I notice that it is not as straightforward as it once was. I'm not a child anymore, home isn't somewhere I run to after school to play with my dolls or cry my heart out over the latest horrific maths encounter. The meaning of 'home' is changing for me, and I know that I will soon have so many. But my true home, I believe, will probably always be where my family are. It's where I can run to, no matter how old, and get a hug from my mum or dad and the naive reassurance that everything's going to be just fine. And I know it will be, because I'll always have that place to run to, as if it were a problem just as simple as a maths problem from primary school.

Of course, the question then becomes 'What is family?' a group of parents and their children. one's spouse and children. one's children. group descended from a common ancestor. No. Blood doesn't always equal family. Families, like homes, come in all sorts of different forms. Family is not necessarily your ancestry. Family is home. My family is the more traditional kind. There's a mum, a dad, 3 wonderful yet slightly deranged offspring. There's grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. But there are other people who I consider family too. They are not blood relatives but they're still family. Like I said, family is home. Family is who, no matter what arguments occur, will always be there at the end of the day. Real family can be blood relatives or friends or anyone who you feel completely and utterly safe around.

'Home' for me then? It's somewhere you run when there's nowhere else to go. It's full of love. Not all homes are the traditional kind. Some are made up of groups of friends, some are just that falling apart backpack you take with you from place to place. But in the end, the feeling is the same. It's safe, it's happy and it's always there. <3